


yeonjun and beomgyu arent dudes...

by softyunohours



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Bottom Choi Beomgyu, Bottom Choi Yeonjun, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other, Top Choi Soobin, Top Kang Taehyun, beomgyu is questioning himself, boyfriend soobin, demiboy beomgyu, nonbinary lix, yeonjun is non-binary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:02:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyunohours/pseuds/softyunohours
Summary: yeonjun isn’t a cis male… so what was he?shit, now that yeonjun has come out, whats beomgyu?
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 3
Kudos: 82





	1. whats yeonjun's gender?

Yeonjun’s life was going great. He had just come out to his friends, he was sort of involved with one of them, his parents were supportive of him, he was doing everything he ever dreamed of in life. But of course, like most people are experiencing right now, once you become comfortable with your sexuality, then comes the gender question.

Yeonjun isn’t a cis male… so what was he? 

It started with the pink hair, the crop-tops, the noona jokes. He absolutely loved feeling pretty and liked the femininity that came with this look. Blue Hour was his peak, he was on top of the world with how he looked. He almost felt bad that being referred to in such a feminine way made him so happy, it made his heart flutter and his stomach bounce inside of him. But once he was alone, then came the thoughts and insecurities about himself. He slowly started hating his pronouns. Being referred to as he/him made his throat close, he had to stop himself from sighing in disappointment and fiddling anxiously with his hands in his lap. If he didn't like those pronouns, then what the hell was he supposed to go by? she/her didn't feel right either, and Yeonjun just wanted to be at peace with what he went by. 

It only crossed his mind to ask about it and talk when he’s awake one night after getting gross and sensual with his member, Soobin. They lay quietly in Yeonjun's bed, the clock in the corner of the room reading some time past 2:00 in the morning. 

“Binnie..” He says softly, his cheek pressed against Soobin’s bare chest and rubbing his side.

“Yes, hyung?” Soob hums, his voice was quiet and rough from their activities earlier. 

“What would you say if I said I don't like being called hyung anymore..”

Soobin is quiet for a minute as he processes what Yeonjun said, leaving the older feeling like he’s going to puke from how terrifying this conversation is. 

“What would you prefer instead?”

“Uhm... I really like when you guys call me noona..”

“Noona is good. Suits you better.”

Yeonjun looks up at him quickly with glossy eyes, his stomach still queasy. “Really? You mean it?” 

“Mhm. It's pretty like you.” Soobin says with a soft smile, reaching up to stroke Yeonjun’s cheek to help relax him.

“You don't have to compliment me.” He can’t help but bite his bottom lip to stop from smiling too big.

“I like to. Cause you’re pretty when you’re happy.” Soobin shamelessly flirts and gets a light smack to the chest from an embarrassed Yeonjun. 

“Shut up,” he says softly, zero malice hidden behind his tone. “But I'm not finished talking..! This has led me to another revelation that I want to ask you about.”

“Uh oh.” Soob teases and gets another slap on his chest, giggling and smiling like a dummy (he won't admit out loud he's actually so deeply in love with his noona). 

“Okay, hear me out soob. This is hard for me so don’t laugh.” He pauses and takes a deep breath, “I’m not male. I don’t know what I am but I know I’m not a guy. And I’m not a girl either, but I like feminine terms more.”

“Ahh, okay. Thank you for telling me, junnie. Do you want help figuring it out or are you gonna do some soul searching?”

“Uhm... I think I can do it on my own. Maybe. I wanna wait until I figure it out to tell the kids though.” 

“Alright, we’ll wait.”

“Thank you, Soobie.” he smiles and kisses the younger boy’s cheek. “My English pronouns are different though.”

“Pronouns?”

“Yeah, like how in English you’re ‘he’. Like… ‘Soobin is so cool, I love him. He is such a cool dude.’” Yeonjun says purely as an example, but Soobin can’t help but giggle again.

“You think I’m cool?” He teases.

“No, shut up! Focus! I’m not finished!” Yeonjun snickers as well. “What I’m saying is I don’t like being referred to and perceived as male, so I don’t like he and him for me. I think I'd prefer they/them.”

“Ooh. How would you use those ones in English?”

“Yeonjun is so hot, I think their style is so cool. They live down the street from me. I can’t wait to see them.” 

“Okay okay, so like how you talk about someone when you don’t know their gender but using it consistently?”

“Yes, exactly!”

“That’s not too difficult. Should I use those with the boys when English comes up?” 

“Mmm, I don’t care yet. We don’t speak English that much for it to matter.” They say with a soft smile, reaching up to stroke Soobin’s (now black) hair. “Thank you for listening, Soobie. You’re the bestest ever.”

“No, you’re the bestest, noona. As soon as we’re allowed to, I’m asking you out on a really real date.” 

“Gross.” Yeonjun teases with a giggle, dropping their head on Soobin’s chest again. “You better freaking promise me if you’re gonna say that!”

“I am promising it!” he whines, hugging Yeonjun tight against him. “Why else would we do boyfriend things without the label for so long?”

“Oh and what qualifies as boyfriend things, hm?” they tease, looking up at him again.

“What kind of boyfriend things? Let's see, shopping together, movie nights alone, dinner together, kissing and having sex, maybe. Just a few of the things we do. I can keep going.” 

“Okay fine, I believe you. You’re already a good not-boyfriend-boyfriend.'' Yeonjun sits up a little and takes Soobin’s chin between their fingers, pressing a gentle kiss to his so pretty lips that are starting to bruise from earlier. 

“Do you want me to use boyfriend or girlfriend for you, noona?” Soobie asks quietly with their lips still pressed together. Yeonjun gasps happily at the mention of the topic and smiles, “Girlfriend!”

“Girlfriend it is.” Soobin smiles and pulls them as close as possible for more kisses, making Yeonjun all happy and giggly. 

Soobin accepting them was a huge burst of confidence for them while searching for the correct gender. They knew they didn't need a label to define them, but having one would put them more at peace with themselves and the way they express themself. Oddly enough, scrolling through moatwt helped them more than they thought. They had a secret SooKai fan account that Soobin himself thought was hilarious, Kai didn't know about it, and they went by Nini (derived from junNIe). Nini, 21, they/them 누나/언니, SEOUL, Soobin & Kai biased. They were pretty proud of their account, actually. Had a good handful of followers and a few moots (mutuals), pretending they were a college student and that's why they were MIA a lot of the time during the day. Tweets that made Yeonjun feel so good was the ones about being referred to as noona, how they’re modelling and collaborating with LSD in making a gender-neutral clothing line, and how Yeonjun said they want to try wearing skirts because “who's to say what makes clothing male or female?” 

Scrolling through the Yeonjun tag/topic was what pushed them towards non-binary. Moa and Stay were always talking about how they and Felix of SKZ were the prime objects of everyone's gender-envy, and how they both made a bunch of their non-binary fans more comfortable with themselves and felt validated, and so started the jokes about Yeonjun themself being non-binary. Yeonjun had actually reached out to Felix through Changbin and they got talking about gender and their own expression. Turns out, Felix is also considering their gender and really likes the idea of being non-binary, and has the skz boys use she/they when it's just them at home, but doesn't mind he/him when it comes to the public. 

The two of them had decided that they both wanted to start using non-binary with their family and friends and quickly became close because of their similar experiences and (now) gender. 

Once Yeonjun had decided fully, they came out to the kids in a family meeting. They sat all of them on the couches and floor of their tiny living room, trying to make the atmosphere as gentle as possible, for their sake and the boys’. Yeonjun sat in front of the TV in a kitchen chair, the four boys in various seats in front of them. Their heart was racing and they were all sorts of terrified, their stomach already at the floor and their hands trembling in their lap. Examining each of their expressions before starting didn't really help, but it was to ground them.

Their (not official) boyfriend, Soobin, was smiling softly and the closest to them in case they needed immediate comfort. He sat on the floor and kept his eyes trained on Yeonjun in the most encouraging way possible. 

Beomgyu was slouched and all spread out on the couch, manspreading and looking bored, waiting for noona to say something. His arms were crossed and he just wanted to go back to his (depression) nap in his room.

Taehyun was expressionless and sitting next to gyu, his legs crossed and sitting upright on the couch. Yeonjun was kind of terrified of his reaction, even though he was completely neutral right now. 

Kai was sitting on the floor in front of Taehyun and next to Soobin, his long legs spread out and his hands occupied with a twisty fidget toy that he needed to focus. Molang sat in his lap and was holding the same expression he always has, the cute little ssyu face stitched on originally. Kai’s eyes were sparkling when he looked at Yeonjun, almost knowing that they’d need a little sunshine since they never ever held family meetings that were not called per Soobin. 

With a deep breath, Yeonjun spoke carefully, loud enough that the boys could hear them but not daring to look any of them in the eye. “This is my second coming out. And I hope you all can support me still… I’m still pansexual but I’m not a boy. And it took me forever to figure this out, but I’m-.. I’m non-binary, which is different for everybody, but for me, it means that I don’t identify with either side of the binary spectrum, being boy and girl. I personally like swapping back and forth with how I look and maybe a bit androgynous at times… and I would like it if you guys didn’t use hyung with me anymore. I really like it when you call me noona and I’d actually prefer it. And- and in English, my pronouns are they/them. You can still use male terms with me in public and such cause I’m not ready to come out 100% yet, but when it's between us five, I would like it if you used noona and more feminine phrases. Or gender-neutral ones.” 

When they finish, they look up at the four in front of them and very quickly try to mentally prepare with what they have to say. 

Soobin has broken out into a very proud smile and looks like he's going to burst from happiness. Yeonjun wasn't really worried about how he’d react, he already knew. 

Beomgyu looks kind of shocked and is sitting up more than he was before. He doesn't look hateful or disgusted though, which is good.

Taehyun has the same exact expression as before but just a bit softer and a tiny smirk.

Kai looks even more excited than he did before, smiling brightly and hugging Molang even more than he was before, fidget toy wrapped around his wrist so he doesn't lose it. 

“Don’t sit so quietly, guys, I feel like puking! Say something!” they try to lighten it up a bit with a nervous smile, hardly getting a moment to think before Kai is in their lap and hugging them with all sorts of giggles. 

“Oh noona!! You’re so cool and brave for telling us!” He hugs Yeonjun tight and they can’t help but chuckle, hugging the large boy back and trying to breathe from Kai’s weight. 

“Ahh, thank you Kai-ya! You’re the one who sent me into this spiral by calling me noona in the first place!” They tease and pinch his side, making Kai laugh more and squish Yeonjun’s cheeks. 

“You should be thanking me if that's the case!”

“Yeah, yeah! Get off me before you suffocate me, you big baby!” Yeonjun tries to shove him off but Kai gets down on his own, sitting next to their chair this time and hugging their leg. 

“Mm, thanks for telling us, noona. We’ll do our best to use what you prefer.” Taehyun gives them a kind smile and a little nod before standing to bring his drink into the kitchen (he had left it on the floor like a slob). 

Beomgyu still looks kind of in his own little world as he processes it. “I didn't realise boys were allowed to not be boys.. I’ve only seen girls experiment with gender..”

“Of course boys can transition! My mom is actually trans.”

“Woah, seriously?” 

“Mhm. She transitioned when I was like five. I don’t have grandparents because of it but she's happy and just got her correct anatomy a few years ago too.” 

“I would've never guessed your mom was trans.”

“Yeah, she's gorgeous, right? She said I’m the spitting image of what she looked like when she was a teenage boy.” Yeonjun smiles thinking about her and how brave she is, not even noticing Soobin coming over and pulling them up to give them a big hug. Yeonjun happily snuggles into his shoulder and giggles when they get soft kisses pressed along their neck.

“So proud of you, babe.” He says quietly and lifts his head to kiss their cheek, his cute dimples showing off. 

“Thank you, Soobie. You’re the bestest.” They say and both smile more when Kai has stood up to join the hug!

Yeonjun ended the day very happily, having eaten with their boys and got some celebratory sex before bed with their amazing boyfriend. What Yeonjun doesn’t know is that now Beomgyu lays awake at night, questioning himself and his own gender.


	2. whats beomgyu's gender?

The same night that Yeonjun had come out, Beomgyu thankfully had the bedroom he shared with Soobin all to himself. Yeonjun coming out had sent him into his own little spiral, and he was petrified. His parents were crazy religious and in turn, openly homophobic. That of course fed into the fact you couldn’t really be gay in Korea without backlash, so he feels it’s just because his parents are products of their generation and aren’t willing to change their views. He’s so jealous of how brave Yeonjun is. 

Beomgyu was terrified for a multitude of reasons:  
1\. He was already too depressed to care much about his gender or sexuality too much.  
2\. His parents, obviously.  
3\. What if it looks like he's just copying Yeonjun?  
4\. He doesn't trust anyone enough to talk to them about any of this. He hardly tells his members about his mental issues, save for just them knowing he’s depressed and not giving any details.  
5\. What if he’s really just cis and this is a waste of time?

The list can really go on, but he's starting to seriously stress himself out and become overwhelmed by the idea. Thank god Soobin isn't in the room tonight because it’s already pushed him to tears. He doesn’t even know where to start or how to figure this shit out. He thought he was fine with his gender and being a dude, but the idea that he can change sent him into a panic he didn’t know would happen. Going through this alone is terrifying already.

Should he trust one of his members with this..?

Soobin was too occupied with Yeonjun, no way.

Yeonjun is still figuring themself out, he can't ask them. 

Kai is struggling with his own sexuality, adding Beomgyu to his problems would be too much.

Taehyun… doesn’t sound like a bad option, actually. He didn’t seem to care much about Yeonjun coming out, but not in the bad way. He keeps a very neutral stance on a lot of things, maybe that would be good for Beomgyu. They’re already kind of close friendship wise, but he doesn’t tell Taehyun about his struggles. They’re more recreational friends, convenient when necessary. Should Beomgyu advance their relationship before throwing this all onto Taehyun? Maybe he should just ask him for help, Taehyun might not say no. Probably. Should he do it now? Should he wait a bit before asking? He really doesn’t want to look like he's copying noona. Maybe he’s still awake. Before Beomgyu can even register all his thoughts, he's already texted Taehyun asking if he was awake. 

Well, no going back now. 

12:43 AM  
BG: tyunnie are you still up?

TH: Yea why

BG: can you come to my room for a second:(

TH: Not braiding your hair again hyung

BG: that's not what i was gonna ask bitch just please come here i need your help  
Read: 12:46 AM

Beomgyu sits up in his bed and quickly wipes his tears so it doesn’t look like he was sobbing alone in the dark. Seconds later Taehyun shuffles into the room and wordlessly sits on Beomgyu’s bed so they’re facing each other. “What’s up?” He asks.

Beomgyu keeps his eyes down and hides his hands in his sleeves so they don't get cold. “I'm struggling mentally and doing it alone is really hard.” Gyu speaks so softly he's not even sure he heard himself. 

Taehyun thinks for a moment before shifting their positions so he and beomgyu are sitting next to each other instead. “Struggling how?” 

“Like… I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning cause I just wanna sleep all day. Feel like I'm not worth this life. And now after noona came out I'm worried that I’m something else too but I don't know what. I have no idea where to even start. I don’t want them to think I'm just copying them either. My will to live is declining and my sudden urge to want to explore myself are both clashing and it's really overwhelming.” 

Beomgyu didn’t mean to spill everything out at once but once he started, he couldn’t stop. The tears have started to spill again and he just lets them drip from his face, there's no use in hiding them. Taehyun just gently wipes his tears with his thumbs and takes one of beomgyu’s hands, rubbing the back of his palm. 

“How long has all this been bothering you?” 

“Uhm..” Beomgyu takes a shaky breath in to try and compose himself a bit. “Since debut. The gender thing is only today.”

“Oh, gyu… you should’ve said something sooner. Two years is a long time to do all that on your own.” 

“I know. Just didn’t think anyone would care enough so I’ve just been keeping myself alive.”

“Is there anything you need me to do right now to make it better?” Taehyun asks and Beomgyu just pushes himself into Taehyun’s arms, hiding against his shoulder. It shocks the younger boy a little because they don’t normally touch each other unless they're wrestling or hitting each other. Taehyun carefully wraps his arms around his hyung and hugs him tight, rubbing his back as he thinks of solutions for gyu’s situation. This is a tough one. 

Taehyun ends up staying in Beomgyu’s bed with him that night, cuddling for the first time in their relationship. It wasn’t Taehyun’s favourite thing, but he did it because he knew Beomgyu needed it. It almost broke his heart hearing Beomgyu so upset, he held him so close all night just to keep them both feeling secure. 

The next morning, Beomgyu wakes up still wrapped up in Taehyun’s embrace. It's a new sensation, being held when he wakes up. He doesn't hate it though. Taehyun smells good and he's like a heater. Taehyun is already awake when Beomgyu finally opens his eyes, stirring a little as he processes his situation. Taehyun is just mindlessly playing on his phone. 

“Morning.” He says softly and Beomgyu hums sleepily. 

“Morning… what time is it?”

“9. Our schedule got cancelled so we got to stay home.”

“Awesome. I’m going back to sleep.”

“Mmm no you’re going to your studio with me and we’re talking about this.” 

Beomgyu sighs and hides more in his chest. Taehyun, sets his phone down and rubs his back gently. They lay there for a few minutes before Taehyun pushes them to get ready for the day. 

Along with Taehyun’s help and comfort, Beomgyu does start to get better mentally. He and Taehyun do lots of research about gender and sexuality in order to help, and eventually they both go to Yeonjun for some knowledge as well. Yeonjun very quickly becomes a gender expert and uses their secret platform to get more exposure for non-binary rights and such. 

Along the way to mental stability and gender/sexuality realization, Beomgyu and Taehyun end up sort of together in the way Yeonjun and Soobin are. They’re not allowed to actually date, but they can fuck around and kiss and such. The labels are what their manager is worried about, so they all just not-date their partners. Beomgyu and Taehyun have an interesting dynamic though. They don't act all lovey with each other like Soobin and Yeonjun, but when they’re alone they’ve started to get handsy and learn how to kiss with each other. Turns out, they’re each other's firsts for a lot of things. They were both never really involved with anyone in their early teen years and were too busy to meet anyone while training, so finally two years after debut they’ve had their firsts with each other. 

Their first kiss was weird and they didn’t know what it was like to kiss someone. Beomgyu had interrupted Taehyun during one of his games to whine about how he wanted affection, and Taehyun just quickly leaned forward to give him a little peck to shut him up. It led to them staring at each other and Taehyun leaving the game so he could straddle Beomgyu on the bed and kiss more. It was a little wet and all over the place but it was learning, neither of them knew what to do but they got better. 

Their first time together in bed was really awkward, of course, but it was fun regardless. Taehyun was on top and Beomgyu was on the bottom, and they both nervously had no idea how to use the condom. It ended in them very giggly and nervous, spending a good few minutes trying to put it on. The lube was interesting too, as it got absolutely everywhere and they didn't know how to prep with it at first. At the end of the night, they both ended up coming and were exhausted, all tangled together and sticky. They knew at least to clean the gross up before going to bed, but the lube had to have been washed from the sheets. That would be tomorrow’s job. 

Once Beomgyu was a bit happier with his own self, he had time to focus on his gender. He definitely knew he wasn't a boy, that’s for sure. Lots of research had helped him towards the idea of demiboy. He didn't come out in a meeting like Yeonjun did, he just sent a few messages to the group chat when he had the courage to do it. 

BG: hey guys i think its my turn to come out:))

BG: i'm a demi-boy and its what i'm most comfortable with. Ning and tyun can still call me hyung, don't worry kiss kiss 

BG: and i think my english pronouns are he/they so not much has to change really, but i’d like they every once in a while heh

BG: ty for ur time don't talk to me about it again

YJ: *a shit load of kissing emojis* so proud of you babe!!!! Noona loves you <3

SB: demi-boy sounds cute, will do gyu

HK: :DDD ok hyungie~~

TY: awesome hyung

BG: oh and tyun and i have been involved haha

TY: oh so you’re outing me too?

BG: yus <3 

TY: smh


End file.
